Day 5 - Guilt

Guilt.  It’s a word that resonates with me strongly.  We talked about guilt today in group and I have a whole lot to feel guilty for.  The most part of the things I feel guilty for are the things I’ve said or done when I was drunk.  I was a messy drunk.  I was loud and obnoxious, I was insulting, I was sometimes physically violent toward the ones I love.  Here’s the upside.  Sharing my journey of rehab and recovery is alleviating a lot of that guilt.  Knowing someone is sitting there reading this and thinking “Oh that’s why Ang was such an arse that night (or day)” gives me faith that slowly, slowly, people can forgive me for all the wrongs I have done to them, or all the times I’ve embarrassed them.  I will extend an apology here to anyone who I have ever done wrong by as part of my drinking.  I might not remember how I hurt you, or what I did or said, but from the bottom of my heart I am sorry.  I am sorry that I have hidden the truth from so many people and I am sorry that it has taken me this long to ask for your forgiveness.